BAR&ANKÁS BLOG

As every male and not queriendo to presume especially for it, I have always dedicated big part of my thoughts and interests towards the beautiful sex. This way, since into my tender infancy they were proceeding to try to inculcate me the rudiments of what, in a catholic school it was spending for being “a sex education“ the doubts did not stop accumulating in my head.

Since it is obvious to the sexual act as such one was not dedicating a lot of time, (in fact none), therefore one was proceeding to get down to business of the question dividing it for its biggest comprehension in two exciting topics; first, since the sperms climb up to fertilizing to this enormous cell known as the ovum and second, as everything what it raises has to go down, the growth and descent of the fetus up to finding its freedom.

The second part was not waking up in me excessive interest, was consisting basically of a big ball of cells that was growing and growing up to looking alike to someone, nevertheless the first exciting age, not only for the difficult thing that seemed to prove, but because it was the only one in which I could turn into participant and necessary co-protagonist.

Since I suppose that you will know this part it consists of as these nice cells called sperms form, to see them growing from teeny-weeny until they finish the school espermil and already graduated they circulate to the body of the woman (entire silence on as they were happening of course). Then it is when it begins the odyssey after there deposits a certain quantity (very small, it does not come to a glass) of a whitish liquid called sperm where the espermitos that were the good ones were proceeding to move towards an ovum of planetary size. Fortunately there were million masculine reproductive cells, because the poor were falling down for the way bad thing. Some were wrong and trying to fertilize an any cell that was not leaving to itself not that of three, (the girls me took a fancy then very similar to these cells). They were trying to fertilize even more absent-minded others to a white globule with a predictable result, very similar to that of the male of the religious mantis. I admit that that worried me, it costs there are million sperms, but also there are million white globules. Some cells really taradas were wrong of way (how many will be there there below?) others were dying there is not known very well porqué, between so many cell how for to do the autopsy to them. Unas se equivocaban e intentaban fecundar una célula cualquiera que no se dejaba ni a la de tres, (las chicas se me antojaron luego muy parecidas a esas células). Otros aún más despistados intentaban fecundar a un glóbulo blanco con un resultado predecible, muy similar al del macho de la mantis religiosa. Reconozco que eso me inquietó, vale hay millones de espermatozoides, pero también hay millones de glóbulos blancos. Algunas células realmente taradas se equivocaban de camino (¿Cuántos habrá allí abajo?) Otros se morían no se sabe muy bien porqué, entre tanta célula como para hacerles la autopsia.

But the heroic one was always coming. This supersperm, seemingly just as the others that there was turning out to be the best of the litter, the most rapid, the most ready. (Where would they have the brain the sperms?). Like that was the authentic miracle of the human reproduction. Soon the questions me crowded in the mind, for example: and if all the sperms were dying? If the woman was giving a pair of jumps: would they all fall down?, he was imagining the females walking along the Earth and leaving after himself a trickle of water of poor fallen cells. Fortunately, they were insisting that there were millions, so every two as three some of them had the honor of turning into supersperm.). Así era el auténtico milagro de la reproducción humana. Pronto las preguntas se me agolparon en la mente, por ejemplo, ¿y si morían todos los espermatozoides? Si la mujer daba un par de saltos, ¿se caerían todos?, imaginaba a las féminas caminando por la Tierra y dejando tras de sí un reguero de pobres células caídas. Por suerte, insistían había millones, así que cada dos por tres alguna de ellas tenía el honor de convertirse en superespermatozoide..

The doubts were coming to my mind in a mad rush. If I produce million nice sperms: why must I allow to die the majority? It would not be simpler to produce straight the supersperm, the bigger and powerful one. Is it better to leave to the woman head below to fertilize it? This position was turning out to be extremely uncomfortable to me: would the same happen to them? Or the nature in its knowledge had provoked in the females an extraordinary pleasure in lying like the bats. What is the capacity of the vagina in cubic centimeters? Think it like a mathematical problem. With how many men will a woman be able to maintain relations before overflowing if every man places in its vagina a standard sperm quantity? ¿Es mejor dejar a la mujer cabeza abajo para fecundarla? A mí me resultaba sumamente incómoda esa posición, ¿les pasaría lo mismo a ellas? O bien la naturaleza en su sabiduría había provocado en las féminas un extraordinario placer en yacer como los murciélagos. ¿Cuál es la capacidad de la vagina en centímetros cúbicos? Piénsenlo como un problema matemático. ¿Con cuántos hombres podrá mantener relaciones una mujer antes de desbordarse si cada hombre sitúa en su vagina una cantidad estándar de esperma?

Another question that was filling me with amazement: were the women hollow? The sperm was coming from the exterior, from the open air, was covering what was seeming to be a kilometric way up to the ovum spending for average feminine body, (I went so far as to be afraid that they were nesting in the brain). Never our amiguitos seemed to interfere under the feminine corium. Then: Was the penis the hypodermic needle of the nature? More worrying the ovum was still also outdoors. With all the microbes that exist for the world. And the white globules?, there were the good ones, redonditos gentlemen of white armor as those of the series “One Was once the Human Body”. They were fighting against the infections, were falling down audaciously in combat against the malignant one. What were these idiots doing eating up to the nice sperms? As they were clarifying in the documentary it was a problem of identification. How many cells are had by a form as absurd as that of a spermatozoon? After seeing that, I rethought seriously to stop playing with my amiguitos at being a white globule. There is nothing good in being a dumb hero. Entonces, ¿Era el pene la aguja hipodérmica de la naturaleza? Más inquietante aún el óvulo estaba también al aire libre. Con todos los microbios que haya por el mundo. ¿Y los glóbulos blancos?, eran los buenos, redonditos caballeros de blanca armadura como los de la serie “Érase una vez el Cuerpo Humano”. Luchaban contra las infecciones, caían audazmente en combate contra el maligno. ¿Qué hacían esos idiotas comiéndose a los simpáticos espermatozoides? Según aclaraban en el documental era un problema de identificación. ¿Cuántas células tienen una forma tan absurda como la del un espermatozoo? Después de ver eso me replanteé seriamente dejar de jugar con mis amiguitos a ser un glóbulo blanco. No hay nada bueno en ser un héroe tonto.

If as my learned tutors were assuring, there was always coming the best of all the sperms, the most intelligent, rapid, awake. How is it that there was so much idiot in the world? Would the nonsense of the ovum come? It was sounding reasonably, just as agreeably for not being a holder of the above mentioned cells. Let's analyze it coldly, while the sperm fights against wind and annoys and overcomes unimaginable tests, the ovum did not have anything that to do. Simply he was waiting and was not a superovum. It was one more. The one that was touching him, had not competed with the rest of the ova for anything, definitely speaking, only the factor luck had turned him into something more. Sonaba razonable, a la par que agradable por no ser poseedor de dichas células. Analicémoslo fríamente,  mientras que el espermatozoide lucha contra viento y marea y supera pruebas inimaginables, el óvulo no tenía nada que hacer. Simplemente esperaba y no era un superóvulo. Era uno más. El que le tocaba, no había competido con el resto de los óvulos por nada, estrictamente hablando, solo el factor suerte le había convertido en algo más.

With the years the force of the nature forced me to try to lead to my supersperms, and to the normal ones also, they do not fertilize, but they are so in a mess that they are difficult to distinguish, to some basically feminine place, terrible destination that of the young adolescents, you feel used by your body as if you were a postal office, anyway, things of the life. As the poet said, “three are the ways to the heart of a woman”, and of all, one in particular seemed especially exciting for I did not have it. The vagina, this big feminine cavity surrounded with lips, infinitely lubricated, with a nice doorman, the clitoris. Nevertheless, all the said ways were kept zealously by a fearsome goalkeeper. The feminine brain. Sin embargo, todos los caminos citados estaban celosamente guardados por un cancerbero temible. El cerebro femenino.

At first it was sounding much more logical that they were the girls those who were asking me for sex. After everything they could have several followed orgasms. Who could push something like that back? Also if they could have the whole lechery that they were wishing. What more was giving them to do me a favor to me? It costs it was not the most nice of the class, diverse culinary passions and a sedentary culture had turned me into a slightly chubby being. Chubby, but kind, he would not stand out in sports, more it could place Djibouti in the map without doubting not even a moment, knowing that the capital of Madagascar is Antananarivo, to solve complex mathematical problems of more than two numbers. Why was not it seducing any of these fearsome doormen? Why did not all its lips allow me to liberate? Además si podían tener toda la lujuria que deseasen. ¿Qué más les daba hacerme un favor a mí? Vale no era el más guapo de la clase, diversas pasiones culinarias y una cultura sedentaria me habían convertido en un ser algo gordito. Gordito, pero amable, no destacaría en deportes, más podía situar Djibuti en el mapa sin dudar ni un momento, saber que la capital de Madagascar es Antananarivo, resolver complejos problemas matemáticos de más de dos cifras. ¿Por qué no seducía a ninguno de esos temibles porteros? ¿Por qué no me dejaban franquear todos sus labios?

Before continuing, a small insert, I do not want that you see in me dear readership to to be merely anxious for the lustfulness, of course it was trying to manage to satisfy my affective-affectionate needs simultaneously that the physical - sexual ones, if possible with the same person for it of the time saving.

I continue. After arduous deliberations I went so far as to think that perhaps it should act incorrectly, I had to chase the females and not wait for debit for that they were coming to look to me. Saying and fact I proceeded to look for them, the first necessary step towards the vaginal footpath, unfortunately it had weak points in my search, the absence of vehicle was provoking his car absence he estimates, the shyness excess was provoking his supreme shame and the wide extension of my abdominal perimeter, was provoking rejection in the females, inexplicable fact since where it was not coming with my virile device, was reasoning, it would come with my lorzas. In spite of it, I got over, inspired, adopted a masculine time exposure and initiated the search in the best place The Yellow Pages found everything …. A pesar de ello, me sobrepuse, inspiré, adopté una pose masculina e inicié la búsqueda en el mejor lugar para encontrarlo todo… Las Páginas Amarillas.

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