BAR&ANKÁS BLOG

This is the night in which I will have to pay. I am sitting in the dressing room to alone with my bottle of bourbon and my old woman Gibson, am cold although perspiration drops furrow my face, this must be the fear: drops of cold perspiration covering my face before the certainty of which this night I will pay with my soul … it is the just thing. gotas de sudor frío cubriendo mi cara ante la certeza de que esta noche pagaré con mi alma…es lo justo.

I have of hour and a half approximately and for what more it longs to me is to be alone and to remember who I was before Legba takes my soul forever. Only with my memories, with mom, with my childhood, with my wives, with the children that I never knew and they will walk on the dusty ways of the south, barefooted and hungry.

I do not repent of anything, Legba fulfilled its part, gave me the power, twenty-nine powers to be exact. I have come so highly as a black Hazlehurt boy can come, I have reached you notice that nobody has touched earlier, I have been envied by those whom one day I envied. I have fulfilled my desires, nevertheless … I am afraid. He cumplido mis deseos, sin embargo…tengo miedo.

Do you remember Legba that night without moon?. It was hurt terribly in my pride. Those pigs of Patton and Willie Brown, soon they were going to lick the mud of my boots. Aquellos puercos de Patton y Willie Brown, pronto iban a lamer el barro de mis botas.

He had listened to many histories about you, I grew with these histories, but I never thought that they were more than that, slaves' ancient legends that they were inventing to be consoled of the tyranny of the owners. But that is the blues?: perhaps it is not the lamentation of the slave who consoles himself of the same tyranny?; if the blues exists - because I breathe it and feel it: why were not you going to exist?., ¿acaso no es el lamento del esclavo que se consuela de la misma tiranía?; si el blues existe -porque lo respiro y lo siento- ¿ por qué no ibas a existir tu?.

She was the grandmother Majors the one that spoke to me about you. It was telling me ancient histories of the plantation Laveaux where she grew. It usually told them to me in the summer evenings, when it was very small, while I was rocking gently in its lap. Sometimes he was singing a very old blues to me. She was saying that she was of the times of the war and that in fact it was a species of map, sung in key, to help to flee to the north to the fugitive slaves. He was speaking about a river, about a tree, of a footpath and a dilapidated shed where the Gentleman would put its hand and would save you from all your misfortunes if you were managing to come. Its family … my family, he never fled. In fact the Majors were free blacks from before the war, they were employed at the plantation under salary and were well considered by the owner Laveaux who even granted to them a large and rambling hut and a small ground piece. There was counting the grandmother that other blacks were saying in times of its great-grandfather, that this was a magical Yoruba and that, I satiate of maltreatments and humiliations, it invoked the black dog that drives up to the crossing of ways where Legba waits. According to the grandmother, it disappeared for five days, the owner believed him escaped and it ordered to beat the area to find it. It returned only and presented before itself before the owner, nobody knows that it happened in that room, but very far from the punishment and without knowing wherefore, the owner granted the freedom to him and what is even more strange, it was looking at him with respect. Five years later my forefather would die murdered. Me las solía contar en las tardes de verano, cuando era muy pequeño, mientras me mecía suavemente en su regazo. A veces me cantaba un blues muy viejo. Ella decía que era de los tiempos de la guerra y que en realidad era una especie de mapa, cantado en clave, para ayudar a huir al norte a los esclavos fugados. Hablaba de un río, de un árbol, de un sendero y un cobertizo desvencijado donde el Señor pondría su mano y te salvaría de todas tus desdichas si conseguías llegar. Su familia…mi familia, nunca huyó. De hecho los Majors eran negros libres desde antes de la guerra, trabajaban en la plantación bajo salario y estaban bien considerados por el amo Laveaux que incluso les concedió una destartalada cabaña y  un trozo pequeño de tierra. Contaba la abuela que los demás negros decían en tiempos de su bisabuelo, que éste era un hechicero Yoruba y que, harto de maltratos y vejaciones, invocó al perro negro que conduce hasta el cruce de caminos donde Legba espera. Según la abuela, desapareció durante cinco días, el amo le creía fugado y mandó batir la zona para encontrarlo. Volvió solo y se presentó ante el amo, nadie sabe que pasó en aquella habitación, pero muy lejos del castigo y sin saber por que razón, el amo le concedió la libertad y lo que es aun mas extraño, le miraba con respeto. Cinco años después mi antepasado moriría asesinado.

I had left this history recorded to fire in the memory, it wanted to be a bluesman, was wishing my fingers to be lighter and to slide with more ease for the mast of my guitar. I tried it for my own means, tried it up to the exhaustion and only I received mockery of those whom it was admiring.

Then I heard speaking about aunt Caroline a hoodoo woman of Clarksdale, so famous by its ardor as by its mastery of the magic.

That woman was possessing the rarest eyes that it had never seen: its dark yellow pupils were making alike it to a black cat, even for its expression, it seemed to be of fighter. I was looking as if I was a succulent mouse. I told him my desire and said to him that the price was not mattering for me. It looked at me fixedly and said to me that I was born under the protection of Legba, which was returning on having fallen down the night, it will take him a photo of mine and some rope of my guitar. Me miraba como si yo fuese un ratón suculento. Le conté mi deseo y le dije que no me importaba el precio. Me miró fijamente y me dijo que yo nací bajo la protección de Legba, que volviera al caer la noche, le llevara una fotografía mía y alguna cuerda de mi guitarra.

A beam ran for my back on having heard of its lips your name. He had always believed that it was a question of a story of the grandmother. I asked him that the one who was Legba and she with lack of concern and without giving him any importance answered me: the Devil. Le pregunté quien era Legba y ella con despreocupación y sin darle ninguna importancia me respondió: el Diablo.

I went out of that place in a situation species, he did not know very well if he was dreaming or was true what it had just heard. I thought of returning seriously to Hazlehurst, burning my old guitar and to devote myself to the farmer's life that the destination assigned to me. While the day was happening, after the sun fell down and plunged in thousand doubts, my body gathered for what aunt Caroline had asked and was going towards its house. Mientras el día pasaba, al caer el sol y sumido en mil dudas, mi cuerpo recolectó lo que tía Caroline había pedido y se dirigió hacia su casa.

In shining target it was dressed when it opened the heavy door to receive me, with the light of thousand sails that it had lit by the whole stay its body was foreseen under the light garment. It was so nervous that I did not think in that moment that that woman was trying to seduce me, not even when he began speaking to me almost in rustles. It ordered to sit down in an armchair that me a real throne was taking a fancy, before him, in an enormous table, there was a black rooster in a cage, a machete, a bottle of rum, a box of tinplate, an amphora species in miniature, a sachet of red velvet and a bunch of dry grasses. I was claimed by the photo, the guitar rope and he added them to the group of objects. Ordenó que me sentara en un sillón que a mí se me antojaba un trono real, ante él, en una enorme mesa, había un gallo negro en una jaula, un machete, una botella de ron, una caja de hojalata, una especie de ánfora en miniatura, un saquito de terciopelo rojo y un manojo de hierbas secas. Me reclamó la fotografía, la cuerda de guitarra y las añadió al grupo de objetos.

- well: are you prepared? - he asked me with a soft and relaxed tone.

- I it am thinking about being - I answered him something frightened.

- see what you see, whatever happens you are not scared, I give you my word of which nothing bad is going to happen to you.

I agreed slightly with the head and she placed herself before me, closed the eyes and began intoning a cancioncilla in a strange language, while cimbreaba up and down with the arms raised to the sky. Suddenly it stopped, drank from the rum bottle and it me it spat above strongly, began to surround me while it was spraying me with the rum and was intoning strange prayers; it was pulling my clothes indicating me that should undress her while it was doing its ritual. It did not stop up to making me completely naked and soaked of rum. It sat down astride on me and began licking the rum of my skin, took my hands and put them on its breasts inviting me to enjoy her, while she was doing it of me. That woman was distilling lechery, was smelling to wild sex and wanted something of me, which was to point to give to him, then when I was prepared to look for its sex, it was her who went forward for mine and this black woman was dropped strongly on … could move, go if he knew. Between strange canticles, panting and frantic movements, I unloaded everything what it was taking inside her. On having noticed it, it went out shot off and was placed on a bowl in squatting, hoping that my fluids should leave it. Once obtained it took it to the table and before my stupor, extracted to the rooster of its cage and of an accurate blow with a machete cut the head, mixed the blood of the unfortunate rooster with the remains of my semen, added the dry hierbajos and while its humming was increasing of volume and of rhythm everything was kneading it with the hands, managing to mix three elements. Part of the miscellany introduced it in the amphora, another part in the sachet of red velvet which closed thoroughly. tiraba de mi ropa indicándome que me fuera despojando de ella mientras hacía su ritual. No paró hasta dejarme totalmente desnudo y empapado de ron. Se sentó a horcajadas sobre mí y empezó a lamer el ron de mi piel, cogió mis manos y las puso sobre sus pechos invitándome a gozar de ella, mientras ella lo hacia de mí. Aquella mujer destilaba lujuria, olía a sexo salvaje y quería algo de mí, que estaba a punto para darle, entonces cuando yo estaba preparado para buscar su sexo, fue ella quien se adelantó a por el mío y se dejó caer con fuerza sobre el…esa negra sabia moverse, vaya si sabia. Entre cánticos extraños, jadeos y movimientos frenéticos, descargué todo lo que llevaba dentro de ella. Al notarlo salió disparada y se colocó sobre un cuenco en cuclillas, esperando que mis fluidos la abandonaran. Una vez conseguido lo llevó a la mesa y ante mi estupor, sacó al gallo de su jaula y de un certero machetazo le seccionó la cabeza, mezcló la sangre del infortunado gallo con los restos de mi semen, añadió los hierbajos secos y mientras su canturreo aumentaba de volumen y de ritmo lo amasaba todo con las manos, logrando mezclar los tres elementos. Parte de la mezcla la introdujo en el ánfora, la otra parte en el saquito de terciopelo rojo el cual cerró con esmero.

He invited me to dress myself and to approach the table, immediately afterwards he asked me to put in the tinplate box my photo, the rope of guitar and the amphora, later to seal it well and to not open it again never again. I approach me with the sachet and it hung it to me to the neck, made me swear that it would never take it from me and told to me that a black, weak and sad dog would come to look for me to take me to the crossing where you would wait for me. Before you were appearing the box would have to bury deep good in the center itself of the intersection. He led me it was doing the door with certain hurry, on having asked him for the expenses of its service, he said to me that it did not owe anything to him, that Legba would pay already away from him. It was then when I saw fear in its eyes. The heavy door closed to not see aunt Caroline again never again. Antes de que aparecieras tendría que enterrar bien profundo la caja en el centro mismo de la encrucijada. Me condujo hacía la puerta con cierta prisa, al preguntarle por los gastos de su servicio, me dijo que no le debía nada, que Legba ya le pagaría. Fue entonces cuando vi miedo en sus ojos. La pesada puerta se cerró para no volver a ver a tía Caroline nunca más.

(He will continue)

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